By now you’ve seen the trailer for the new movie Bad Moms starring Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell and Christian Applegate, opening July 29^th.  It’s an amazing thought, to give up all responsibility and let loose if only for one day. Some moms are good about this and they escape for a weekend with friends every once in a while. Others are not, and they are ready to disappear into a vortex of bad momness stat!

Any mom who has done even the slightest amount of personal enlightenment knows that there is no such thing as the perfect mom. The problem is the guilt. Where does the guilt come from? Well, social media for one thing. Seeing photos of everyone’s perfect life can be a little rough, and it makes you feel bad that your life isn’t so perfect.

Maybe the guilt comes from your own mother, or other mothers you encounter at school or even in your neighborhood. Maybe you’re Catholic. The point is, the guilt is killer. But it doesn’t have to be. Don’t let the guilt get you down.  It’s okay to be bad every once in a while, hell, in the long run it’ll make you a better mom.  Dr. Phil says so.

Here are five ways you can be a Bad Mom:

1. Stop Trying to be Perfect – Seriously, no one is perfect and the perfect mom is something that does not exist. So while you’re looking at everyone’s perfect photos and families on social media, remember that it’s not perfect.   Perfectionism is a way of thinking that deflects criticism, blame and ridicule. If you look perfect, live perfect, work perfect, and make others believe you are perfect, how can they see the real you. I love this quote from Dr. Berne Brown – “When perfectionism is driving, shame is always riding shotgun, and fear is the annoying backseat driver.”  Don’t be perfect.
2. Lower Your Expectations – You want everybody to do what they’re supposed to do, but they don’t. The dog pees on the carpet as your running out the door. Your kids never clean up their messes and before you know what hit you, your house looks like an episode of Hoarders. Your husband needs to be pushed and prodded to get to his “Honey do” list and now you’re a nag. You and your friends are often not on the same wave length; while you want to go out and par-tay, they want to stay home in their PJ’s. And vice versa.  Lowering your expectations means your feelings will never get hurt.  And if they are, there’s always wine.
3. Stop Trying Harder, Dude – This goes back to number 1, you can’t be all things to all people. Stop trying to please everybody. The disease to please will only cause people to start taking advantage of you, and you resenting them for it. Do what you can, and know that at the end of the day, you tried your hardest. And there’s always tomorrow.
4. F**k the Rules – You know what I want to know?  Who made the “rules” of motherhood? No one. No one can tell you what kind of mother to be, or how to be a mother. It’s instinctual, which means you’re born with it, it’s ingrained in you and if you F**k the rules and listen to your instinct, you’ll do just fine.
5. Stop Trying to Make Your Kids Childhood Magical – Childhood is magical regardless of if you sit down and make the perfect craft with your kids or not. Remember that some of the most magical moments with your children are the quiet ones.

Now get out there and kick ass bad mom! By being a bad mom, you’ll actually be a great mom.