We Should All be Feminists

We should all be feminists.  We’re women, after all.  Unless you’re reading this and you’re a man, but then, you have a mother, and maybe a sister.  Feminists are fighting for equality for women.  We’re fighting for equal pay, and equal opportunity, and we’re fighting for the right to make the choice of how we want to live our lives.  How can we do that if we aren’t given all the information?

Sure, there have been huge strides made, but there’s still work to do.  I’m the mother of a girl and I want her to have the opportunities I had, only more of them.  I get to teach her she can do anything and be anything, because I was taught the same thing.  She can do whatever her heart desires.

We should all be feminists

I have taught my daughter this freedom did not come cheap.  I am teaching her that with this freedom comes a responsibility to speak her truth and to not forget she has a voice and she needs to use it.

On the flip side, I’m also teaching my daughter to not be offended by everything.  As stated in the Four Agreements, don’t take anything personally.  But she also needs to listen to her intuition, and if something feels off, she needs to be aware and she needs to make adjustments.

Sometimes people say or do things that are offensive, but people make mistakes, you hope they learn and grow from the experience.  Mistakes have been made in this movement – we forgot we had a voice, we forgot we didn’t have to put up with shitty behavior, we forgot to speak up when we were failed. My daughter won’t be afraid to make mistakes or ask questions or speak up when she is failed {this one kind of sucks because sometimes she is failed by me, but even then, she needs to let me know.}

I don’t want her to get mad if someone refers to her as a girl, because she is a girl.  She has girl power.  She can laugh and cry, maybe at the same time – it’s a fun trick.  She can be smart, and make decisions, but still have fun.  She can be who she wants to be.

The bottom line is this, we should all be feminists.  We are all fighting for the same goal – wanting the best for the women in our lives, including ourselves.  It’s about respect.  It’s about paying me what I deserve because I can do the job, not because of my gender.

It’s about me not accepting your hand on my ass as part of our culture.  Unless I invite you to put it there, keep it to yourself.  And your shitty jokes and comments, too.  Mothers of sons, teach your boys to respect girls.  Have conversations with them about what is acceptable and what is not, and start these talks at an early age.

We have to continue these conversations into adulthood, because well, they’re boys.  They develop slower than girls intellectually and emotionally, it’s a fact.  Maybe they’ll forget what you told them.  Again, we all make mistakes, so guide them back to the right path.

We have to teach all of our kids to respect themselves so they can respect others.  But we especially have to teach our girls to respect themselves so they can use their voices to speak their truth.

In speaking our truth, we shouldn’t lump the guy grabbing asses on the subway under the same umbrella as the Harvey Weinstein’s or the Matt Lauer’s. And we can’t be out to ruin everybody because it’s not always black and white; there can be grey areas.  If we want redemption for our mistakes, we need to offer redemption for others who make mistakes as well.  Except the Harvey Weinstein’s and the Matt Lauer’s. Screw them.

Ladies, it’s your right to make your own choices about how you want to live your life.  If you want to do the dishes, clean the bathroom and do the laundry, rock on.  If you want to code, code.  If you want to teach, teach.

The choice is yours and your voice is yours, so don’t put up with any bullshit along the way.  I am woman hear me roar!

PS – Ella, that’s a Helen Reddy song.  You should download it onto your phone.  Love, Mom

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