My Mom Kicks Arse and Takes Names

My mom hails from Scotland, so she has a beautiful Scottish accent.  She had me when she was 30, which is the equivalent of having a baby at 20 today, but wasn’t so common back in the 70’s.  My mom was a stay-at-home mom and just like Texas, don’t mess with my mom.

I can’t remember how old I was, but a life changing event happened sometime around 4th or 5th grade.  It was the type of event when I knew my mom always had my back, and it is the reason I will always have the backs of my family and friends.

I was out riding my bike alone.  It’s okay it was the early 80’s.  Kids rode their bikes alone, didn’t wear helmets or seatbelts, and ate Halloween candy straight out of the bag without parental inspection.

As I was riding on a path not too far from home, two high school boys walking home from school thought it would be funny to scare the s**t out of me.  They said something along the lines of “you better watch out or we’re going to get you.”  That doesn’t sound so scary when I write it, but everyone knows high school boys are scary, especially when you’re 10.

They started chasing me and laughing, and I rode like the wind to get away from them.  I flew down the hill (if you saw my previous post on bike riding, you know what grave danger I was putting myself in by riding fast down the hill), whipped around the corner, got to my cul-de-sac, threw my bike on the grass and ran in the door.  By this time, I was hysterically bawling and was convinced these two juvenile delinquents were going to see where I lived, and were going to do something horrible to me.  My mom was making dinner and asked what in the world happened to me.

When I was finished telling her my story, she calmly put on her coat and said she was going to have a talk with those boys.  I begged her not to go.  In my mind, these were knife toting monsters and I was sure this was the last time I was going to see my mom alive.  How was I going to explain to the rest of my family that she died trying to protect me from high schoolers?

She walked out the door and I anxiously sat by the window waiting for her return.  It felt like an eternity, but was really only about 10 minutes.  She finally came back around the corner and returned home.  Still crying when she walked through the door, I asked “What did you say to them?”

She told me she caught up with them, got right behind them and said “Do you think it’s funny to scare little girls, because I don’t.”  Remember, this was said with a beautiful Scottish accent.  I’m sure she scared the crap out of them.

She explained how her 10 year-old daughter was at home hysterical because of what they considered funny.  They apologized, said they didn’t mean any harm, and everyone went on their way.  I don’t know who they were, she forgot to take their names, but I hope they changed their delinquent ways.

The reality is, not everyone has a mom let alone one who will stick up for them like my mom stuck up for me.  My mom is amazing for many reasons but mainly because she was willing to risk her life chasing down two deadbeats who threatened mine.  After becoming a mom, I know I would do the same for my daughter.  I’m already getting lots of practice playing kindergarten cop and saving my daughter from the injustices of the pre-school set.

I heard a great quote last week from Reverend T.D. Jakes on Oprah’s Lifeclass, “If you want to be an amazing mother, surround yourself with amazing mothers.”  I do.  And to all my amazing mommy counterparts, may we kick ass and take names, too!  Always.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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