by Tarrah Curtis

# of dates I went on 2019: 0 {No, that is a zero not a typo}

# of dates I have been on in 2020: 2 {Yeah, doesn’t make any sense to me either}

So, let’s get the obvious questions out of the way right now…

Yes, I’m single.

Yes, I was single all of 2019, too.

Yes, I’ve tried online dating {I’m pretty much the original catfish, but that’s a story for another day.}

No, online dating is really not for me.

What else have I tried?

• Asking friends to set me up? – Yes
• Meeting people out? – Yes because sadly, I’ve reached the conclusion that Mr. Right won’t just find his way to my living room.
• Speed Dating – Yes, more than once.  It’s quite fun.
• Matchmaker – Yes.

So, what happened?

Ironically, nothing, save for a worldwide pandemic.

In 2019, I decided I needed to do something drastic to jumpstart my dating life.  I really had to put it out into the Universe.

At first, I was just talking about this ridiculous idea I had.  I was going to give all of my friends a ‘gift certificate’ to allow them to set me up on a blind date – that they could cash in whenever they felt they were ready.   I floated a few test balloons and they seemed to be into it, and I’m certain close to 95% of them thought I was kidding.

The Universe answers:  The Matchmaker, who had been MIA for 2019, came back into play.  An unexpected email informed me they had some great new guys they were working with and wanted to know if I was still looking. I was but it was about to be Awards Season {I work in Awards Show PR and that basically means I’m out of commission for December and January which is all of cuffing season.}  I was certain I’d be game come February, so please, hit me up then.

Christmas rolls around and I decide I’m really going through with this ridiculous plan. See image below. These have been distributed to various friends – married, single, gay, straight, I don’t know who you know, help a sister out.  Besides, I figure if it’s hanging on your fridge it might jog your brain in say April as you reach for a beer.

People started talking about it – some stressing out, some not.  Some scratching their head for ideas.  Others evaluating their friends and really taking stock of who they hang out with.  So far, it’s almost April and no one has ponied up.  But they have been thinking about it.  Also, I’ve learned none of my friends are playing to play, they are all playing to win.

Of course, my dating wheels are a little rusty, so I should probably go on a few dates to get my feet wet. I start planting that seed.

The Universe Answers again {clearly they’ve added me to their contacts}:  Enter worldwide pandemic – COVID-19.  Social distancing is the new norm.

Enter the Coronavirus meme game:

And also, MIA Matchmaker sends another out of the blue e-mail on the day L.A. goes pro-Social Distancing.

Here’s the gist of the e-mail: “Not sure how you feel about meeting someone now, but we’ve got a guy we think you should meet.”

Not an idiot, also not having had a date in a while, I say… “How does he feel about Zoom?”  {insert winky emoji – really eye-brow wiggle emoji, but I’m not sure which one that is and I don’t want to give you the wrong impression.}

Zoom for the win!  Universe be damned.

So, yes, I set up a Zoom link for a blind date – I was only given his first name – and we chatted.  It was good enough that we both reported back we’d like to do it again.  This time MIA Matchmaker tells me she’s given him my e-mail and he’ll be in touch.  We chat again – with more expectations.

It’s not easy.  Without the added atmospheric elements of a bar or restaurant or coffee shop it’s hard to fill those awkward pauses with someone you don’t know.  And you can only use, “Gosh, this is so awkward over Zoom” once.  Where’s the waiter to drop a glass?  Or send over free mini-quesadillas from the kitchen?  Something.

I survived round two – and we moved to the texting round.

I failed the texting round. I’m not going to get deep into the details, but Pro Tip:  when someone asks you a question, you should respond with one of the following:

You actual answer + a question for the other person to answer.

OR

An answer so ridiculous that the other person needs to find out more.

If neither of those things happens, you have lost the texting round {or maybe he just really hates Juggling Dodgeball on the Ocho – in which case, do you really want to date him anyways?}

I wasn’t the only one experiencing this because the meme universe did not fail me:

Clearly we all need to learn to communicate again.  Because DTF isn’t gonna work these days.

But, you know what, in the middle of a worldwide pandemic I’ve had 200% more dates than 2019.  I say keep ‘em coming.  Apparently, I need the practice just as much as most of the dudes out there.  Game on!

 

About Tarrah

Red Carpet wanderer. Excel Ninja. TV lover. 90’s child. Sports fan. Secret hippie.

Lives in: Los Angeles
Roots in: Boston

For now… social distancing dating expert

Catch more of Tarrah’s writing on her personal blog, Chasing Pacey Witter or on Wattpad