“Father of the Bride, ” the remake, is the kind of movie I can watch over and over and over again. It’s cute, funny and there’s a wedding in it. I’m obsessed with weddings. I love them. I love attending them, I love being in them, I love watching them on TV. I have been a bridesmaid four times and a Maid of Honor three times. I was slated to be a bridesmaid three more times, but two brides ended up eloping, and I had to regretfully back out of one wedding when the date got changed and co-incided with another wedding I was in.
I bring up weddings because I wanted to talk about the thing that happens before a wedding. The proposal. My engagement was very simple. My husband tried doing it at dinner in a fancy restaurant, but I had a feeling something was coming, so I sabotaged his plan. He ended up getting down on one knee when we got back home and presented me with my non-traditional engagement ring.
As soon as I set eyes on Lady Diana Spencer’s engagement ring in 1981, when I was 10-years-old, I knew I must have a sapphire engagement ring. There are many reasons to want a non-traditional ring, especially a sapphire. It’s very British, and if you’re obsessed with all things British like I am, then you will most definitely love a sapphire engagement ring. It’s one less thing to think about on your wedding day. Something blue? Got it. And finally, not everyone is going to have your ring. In fact, most likely, no one else will have your ring, and therefore, no one else will understand why you would want to have a non-diamond engagement ring.
Before I got engaged, I instructed my husband-to-be on the four things my ring had to be. One, it had to be either antique or antique looking. Two, it had to be platinum. Three, it had to have a low setting so I wouldn’t get it caught in all sorts of things. And four, it needed to have a sapphire.
He listened to all of my requirements and got the perfect ring. Well, not really perfect. Because of the low setting, my beautiful sapphire doesn’t catch much light and it looks, well, black. Women have glanced at my ring and looked away without saying anything; some have come right out and said, “Is that stone black?” Or “Is that your engagement ring?” the tone of their voices dripping with sympathy. And then there are others, the wise and the few, who have told me how beautiful my ring is.
For the ten years that I have been wearing my ring, it has at times caused me to be extremely self-conscious, and it has made me realize how nasty women can be over something so personal. I have asked my husband several times if we can switch the center stone out for a diamond, but in the end I realized this was the perfect ring for me. I love my sapphire ring.
And it has actually become a lot easier to be a woman with a non-traditional engagement ring thanks to Carrie Bradshaw, who chose a black diamond, and a woman named Kate. Middleton. Catherine. Duchess of Cambridge. You may have heard of her. She’s currently wearing Princess Diana’s sapphire engagement ring.
The reality is its not easy being a non-traditional girl in a traditional world. I think women, especially, get so caught up in how things are “supposed” to be, they don’t realize we’re not all the same. Be yourself is probably the most simple advice anyone will ever give, but it can also be the hardest to follow.
What stone is in your engagement ring? Any other non-traditional girls out there?