I fail as a human being on a daily basis. I fail, basically at everything. I guess it’s safe to say we all do. But lately I’ve been spending a lot of time focusing on my failures, instead of focusing on the triumphs, no matter how big or small. I’m very hard on myself.
I have high expectations for me and others. And why shouldn’t I? If you have expectations and things don’t work out, it sucks. But if you don’t have expectations how can you strive for greatness? It’s confusing and I’m confused, but here it is. I fail at a lot of things:
- I have failed as a friend. I know this because I have very few true, long lasting friendships in my life anymore. If I hadn’t failed as a friend these people would still be making an effort to have me in their lives. But, since I failed, at some point they made the decision that I was no longer important enough to keep calling, e-mailing and texting. This one sucks, it hurts and it rocks me to my core. Friends are important. Especially the good ones, but I have to remember it has less to do with me than the other person. Lesson learned – things happen for a reason, accept it and stop searching for the why.
- I have failed as a wife. I’m pulled in so many different directions that at the end of the day, I don’t have much left to give. I’m trying to work on myself and my business, I volunteer for the PTO, I contribute on a moms blog, I run my daughter around, help her with homework, meal plan, cook, clean, take care of the cat, try to catch up on a show or movie here and there, maintain the friendships that I do have, all while trying to stop the aging process, which in itself is exhausting. I’m tired and I just don’t want to think at the end of the day. Lesson learned – hang out with your husband in your messy house.
- I have failed as a mom. My 7-year-old daughter has lost her manners. She demands things instead of asking for them, she rarely says “please” or “thank you” anymore, and she’s super sassy. She throws her backpack on the floor and kicks her shoes, then leaves them wherever they may land. For days. She has three chores she has to do on a daily basis and she rarely does them. So I do them and then I get mad because I’m the one doing them.She tells me “No” when I ask her to do something and she argues with me over everything, including the color of the sky. I’m not joking. She can be ungrateful, she is a picky eater and she has major anxiety about a plethora of things. I raise my voice and/or yell at my daughter a lot more than I care to admit, which may be why she acts the way she does. On the flip side, she can be super sweet, caring, and thoughtful for her teacher and classmates. But she saves her hilarious antics and “Dancing with the Stars” reenactments for me. And she’s extremely empathetic, which I guess is very hard to teach children. #Winning Lesson learned – parenting is hard and tomorrow is a new day.
- I have failed as an employee. I did not enjoy my last job. When I was hired, I was over qualified for the position, but was told it could be more. A month later there were some major changes and my job was less and less what I was hired for. Then I got pregnant. I felt trapped in the position, underutilized and underappreciated. I was treated like shit by one boss, and told to figure it out by the other. I just didn’t care and therefore I did a horrible job. I still beat myself up over this one and it was six years ago. Lesson learned – I need to listen to “Let it Go” more often.
- I have failed as a cook. I fail at this one a lot. That’s what Chick-fil-A is for.
Just because I have failed at these things from time to time, I am not a failure. Failing is a part of life. It’s inevitable that you will fail at something. The key is to not beat yourself up over it, to dust yourself off, and to move on. Each failure has a lesson and each lesson teaches you to be better. Failing can only lead to success because now you know what not to do. Right?!