From: Angela Jones
Subject: Mommy Porn
Date: April 23, 2013 12:11 PDT
To: Christian Grey
Dear Mr. Grey,
You are one very dirty boy. You and your twitchy palm have women all over the world laying in your wake. I was late to the party, I know, but I finally came. No pun intended. I want to thank you for enlightening me on such things as anal beads, butt plugs, nipple clamps, spreaderbars and the Red Room of Pain. If it were not for you, Mr. Grey, I would be none the wiser, and I’m not sure that’s such a bad thing. However, I enjoy your playfulness, your command, your smoldering gray eyes and under certain circumstances, your twitchy palm.
E L James may not have the best writing skills, but let’s face it, that’s not why we’re in bed with you is it Mr. Grey? I can’t wait for your big screen debut. I hope you live up to the hype. If not, I too have a twitchy palm.
Now excuse me while I go meet my neighbor. We need to make an exchange. A Woody for more mommy porn, Mr. Grey. Pun intended.